Weird Christmas Gifts You can give Your Friends and Pseudo-Friends

If you wish to take this seriously, fine. It's just that the season is beginning to BORE me and I've done my shopping last November to make dang sure that I do not get caught for five hours at EDSA (is it true they plan to re-name the road Cory Aquino Highway?? Lmao! )


Here are several gift suggestions anyway and they're NOT all expensive:


1. Wrap a bulb and give it to someone who needs to have more ideas. Oh, and make it the energy saving bulb - indicate in your gift card that you wish him/her better ideas for the season. Write something like: "every time you light this bulb, by some magic, you'll get to think of new ideas". Perfect for stagnant minds.


2. Buy a coconut and drink the coconut water and finish the "white meat" too. Now, gift wrap this one in a newspaper and give it to your annoying environmentalist friend. Write: "I know you can recycle anything, so I have you this to figure out.. please, no more "bunot" (foor scrub), I expect better from you... ".


3. Buy a meter of steel matting for your annoying roomate, classmate, gym mate... write "Here, please hang this on your wall and that's where you can hang all your keys, your clothes, your dirty stinky gym outfit and that's a space saver.. heck, you can hang all your amulets, beads, religious stuff there too along withh your dangling Korean bling blings and fake jewelries... " 


4. A huge Styrofoam bloc is also a great gift idea. Write: "Happy Holidays.. I decided to give you this to save your life. IN case of floods in your area, you can use this as your life saver. Just hang on to it and when the floods start to come in do not worry.. helps you float... "


5. A gift for your fanatic pet lover friend ? Do it yourself, bake some chicken liver biscuits , use whole wheat flour and wrap it as attractive as possible. Write: " know you love your pets, so I am giving you these... your dogs would love these cookies... I know you want them happier than you are this season and I understand". (NOTE: your dog lover friend may actually LOVE you for that).


6. Your twisted co-worker needs a gift and she thinks she knows everything? Aside from rope (in deference to Judas whom some historical people feel wasn't really a "BAD" guy) and arsenic (that would be murder) you can try something more creative! Get the prettiest box you can find. Wrap it with picturesque lace (if possible) and hire some fiverr member for 5 bucks to print out a really great logo with her name on it. Then, place NOTHING inside the box. Send it with this note :" I thought of you this Christmas even if you are a twisted old braggart who pretends to know everything... still, I thought of you. This gift is YOU... it is empty inside much like YOU are, but hey, isn't it the thought that counts?". 

7. For your friend who talks too much about home renovation, buy some duct tape (it's great for insulation) and wrap and send, " I know you love home insulation stuff  and you keep talking about it, so I am sending you this present with hopes that no one finds the need to use it...."